1. Yes, the poster says it all. Somewhere in the Northern Suburbs, John Hughes is throwing up in his mouth.

2. An Elvis impersonator father pressuring his son into winning a basketball scholarship, that Notre Dame father who pressured all his kids into his Alma mater, a manic depressant mother who forces her daughter to live with her aging grandmother, and a mother who cuts her son’s hair too short…no wonder these kids had problems! However, it makes for intriguing stories.

3. Typical stereotypes. Typical high school in Warsaw, Indiana. Typical mean girl (with an anger management problem). Typical depressed (and repressed) artist looking for a way out of the cornfields. Typical jocks who are (surprise!) friends with the mean girl. Typical band geek with acne just trying to find love. All these stories are typical, but somehow, it was entertaining.

4. If you hated high school, you’ll love this movie because you will find yourself in one of these five storylines, and you will pat yourself on the back for getting through those tremulous times called high school.  If you like high school, you’ll love this movie because it brings you back to a time when you didn’t know what lied ahead, and where every fight, every heartbreak, every night spent in the basement of someone’s house playing pool meant the world to you. And if you’re impartial to high school, you’ll be reminded of that time when you graduated when you were either so excited to get the hell outta dodge, happy that you had the best four years of your life, or sad as hell that your glory days are over.

5. It’s Breakfast Club meets the Real World meets Varsity Blues, meets Mean Girls. All rolled up into one hour and a half miniseries called “I survived high school in Warsaw, Indiana and all I got was the best video yearbook of my life”!

1. Having read the book, it stayed very true to it.
2. Kristin Stewart was a little too awkward for me, I would have loved to see what Rachel Evan Wood would have done with the role…however, I can live with Stewart as long as Robert Pattinson stays on as the vulnerable, chivalrous vampire Edward…what he can do with the subtlety of a look makes you wonder what he’ll do beyond his blockbuster status.

3. The pale blue hue of the movie made everyone seem pale, and made me shiver a bit, which might have been because it was thundersnowing outside, or that the location of the movie was just right. Either way, I was drinking hot cocoa under a fleece blanket…gotta love movie atmosphere.

4. And yes, the book is WAY better than the movie…but then again, it always is…

5. It’s Interview with a Vampire meets high school, with a little twist of Harry Potter romance and magic, mixed in with a very blue, pale-hued location named Forks.

1. For someone who didn’t know who Mickey Rourke was or did, I thought he was excellent as a washed-up wrestler trying to make amends.

2. Marisa Tomei, whom I don’t particularly like as an actor, was believable and carried herself well in what could have been a one-dimensional role as a stripper.

3. As far as plotlines go, I was bored (and I little dizzy from the non-steady cam/docu style of filmmaking).

4. I don’t know if he deserves the Oscar (cause I am hearing marvelous things about Sean Penn), but Rourke was very very good.

5. Like most Oscar-worthy films…it’s not very uplifting. If you want uplifting, go see Mall Cop.

1. A complicated story of 2 hitmen who are forced to hide out in Bruges, Belgium, after a particularly stressful hit. Themes include mortality, depression, and first (and last) impressions.

2. Colin Farrell is hilarious and poignant. Totally deserved the golden globe.

3. A midget, coke addict, guns, violence, and a beautiful, yet eerie backdrop are involved.

4. Bruges is in Belgium, which I’ve been to, and this movie will make you feel like you’ve been there…Which is probably all you need, because unless you love medieval history, Bruges is pretty boring.

5. This is a black comedy, in the realm of Lock, Stock and Three Smoking Barrels/Snatch, etc…so if you don’t like those types of movies…you might not like this one.

My trip to Bruges...good for a day, not two weeks...

I think this might be the bell tower used in the film...

I’ve decided that since everyone has a short attention span (myself included), I am going to start writing movie and tv reviews in 5 sentences or less. That way people might actually read my blog all the way through, and it will force me, as a writer, to be succinct. Which is something I never am. Hey, according to Benjamin, it’s never to late to change.

1. Benjamin Button is a marvel of a movie whose poetic words and unbelievable filmmaking will make you believe that $9.00 is indeed an ok price for a good solid movie.

2. You will be dumbstruck by its simple yet complicated commentary on mortality.

3. You will be awestruck by the astonishing transformation of the main characters, and accept that Brad Pitt can actually do more than Ocean’s 11-13 would have you believe.

4. You will leave the movie theatre thinking about the awesome power of a movie to transport you, move you, and make you think (more than you probably wanted) about your own stance on immortality, mortality, and life itself.

5. And, finally, you will need to pee before the movie, because it clocks in at 2 hours and 47 minutes, and you cannot miss one scene.

I guess dancing has become my “new” obsession…

Step Up 2…I loved the original Step Up, and I knew that the sequel would be, well, ick…

Turned out the script is kinda cheesy, but the dancers can freaking dance! And hip hop, I love watching it ever since Chris Kim from Glenbrook South performed a helicopter in the annual variety show…I am always in awe…and if you can’t get through dance movies, let me save you the trouble and go straight to the last dance sequence…hip hop, street-style in the rain. It was gorgeous and hard-hitting…the dancing was AMAZING, choreography that will blow your mind, and by the time the final scene ends (a little abruptly, I might add), you are just like me….staring blankly at the screen in total awe. FABULOUSO…I might just buy the DVD for that scene alone.  Found out that the main actress (who did have that “it” factor, although she looks like Sophia Bush, which isnt a bad thing!) was trained by Shane Sparks…who I LOVE!  Gotta love people who can dance (and sort of act…)

I love dance movies because I think dance is the one thing that is universal…everyone (even the left foot ones) can move to a beat.

And that got me thinking…what are people’s favorite movie dance moments? 

Here’s mine: Centerstage finale…Dirty Dancing (of course) finale…and possibly Step Up 2…

(I swear I will get off this dance kick, but I am currently obsessed…although I have noticed a surge of dancing in the media…SYTYCD and Dancing with the Stars, etc…but now even Target’s ads for college dormwear is featuring choreography…go figure.)

I did something today that I said I’d do…something new!

New thing #1:

Went to the local dog park that I have been too afraid to do by myself, and met some friends. I hesitated to go because of Ollie’s bum leg, but I figured, what the hell, at least I could have friends there as a buffer if only to pull the Doberman off of Ollie if that were the case…At first, Ollie wanted nothing to do with it…we’re talking tail between the legs, eyes averting direct eye-contact with the other dogs, running away trying to find out how to get out of the place…pretty much like me when I first do something new and unknown…but then, after about 10 minutes, he realized it wasn’t such a bad place after all…even made some friends along the way, and an hour later, we walked happily exhausted back to our normal life…hmm…am I detecting a life lesson from none other than my dog?!

New thing #2:

Then, like I didn’t have enough exercise for the day, I went grocery shopping which I am learning that I hate…I may just take KT up on her offer and join Peapod…even though I don’t live on the third floor and I am only eating for one…and that I don’t even own a full-size fridge…but I digress…so I went groceries, spent way too much, didn’t really buy anything new (except Coke Zero which is my new crack)…however, I did venture to the video kiosks that I have been so curious about…you know the big red box outside of the exit doors? Well, I knew I had time tonight, and I have been dying to see Definitely, Maybe, so I ordered it for a dollar…we are a society of instant gratification, and what else can you get for a dollar these days? Only catch, I have to return it tomorrow…if I remember…

New thing #3:

Ok, so Definitely, Maybe. Actually enjoyed it. And this is new for me because I haven’t really like a romantic comedy since Love Actually or My Best Friend’s Wedding (and that isn’t from a lack of seeing them all…cause I do, I am THAT sucker of romantic comedies)… Sure, it had its faults and you just kinda want to kick Ryan Reynold’s character in the shins when he doesn’t see that halfway through the movie he’s supposed to be with THAT girl instead of the other girl when it is blatantly obvious, but even with that, it was enjoyable. This is how I rate romantic comedies…

A) Did I tear up?

I did tear up, but that is because A) I am a sympathetic crier…even if someone I hate starts to tear up, I am gone…and B) Abigail Breslin cries, I’m crying. I hate when kids cry.

B) Did I forget about the present time?

I always hate when I can watch a romantic comedy and read a magazine at the same time…I was actually polishing my nails when I realized I had missed half the dialouge and I actually wanted to rewind the scene. Hey, it’s my ratings system…

C) Did I like the protagnists and the character(s) structure? Were they believable?

I actually thought Reynolds did a good job in this…there were times when I thought he was a bit too old to be playing this part, but after a while, he grew on me. The character development of the three women was outstanding. I don’t know if it was the spot-on performances of Rachel Weisz, Isla Fisher or Elizabeth Perkins, or whether it was the chemistry he had with all three, but I actually saw a progressive character development! Which is SO odd in romantic comedies.

D) Did I leave the movie still thinking about it?

I’m walking Ollie after the movie and get to thinking about unrequited love and how boys are just stupid when they finally realize they have unrequited love and its too late……and that I wanted to hit Reynolds because he ended up with the wrong character in the first place, when really he just should have been with what I thought was the obvious choice, and what idiots men are……just in time to see that Ollie has pooped on my shoe.

I also enjoyed the romantic comedy from a guy’s perspective…and the strong women characters that are portrayed honestly…nevermind that one of them is a control freak, another one doesn’t know what to do with her life, and the other one is too busy pinning over a dead man than her own happiness…but at least they are strong!

Definitly, Maybe is on my “to own” list.
Dog Park is on my “every weekend to-do” list.
Groceries…not so much.

Sex and the City-Predictable, although I didn’t see the middle of the storyline coming…great fashion, great apartment style, great characters, although I thought Samantha’s character was a bit subdued from her “TV” years. My only comment was that the boys got OLD…and only some (namely Big) aged like a fine Sterling vineyard cabernet. The others were definitely discount shelf stock. It was everything I thought it would be…entertaining, enjoyable, and pure Sex.

Inventing the Abbotts-Something completely different from Sex in the City, but still have the “love” theme in mind. TiVoed it because it was about two Illinois families from different backgrounds falling in love…plus it had Liv Tyler, Joquin Phoenix, Billy Crudup and Jennifer Connelly, and it was set in the 1950’s…why else would I tivo it?  Way more complicated than “just a love story about a wealthy family of girls who catches the eyes of the “wrong side of the track” boys, but it was pleasantly enjoyable. The storyline was so simple, yet complex, that it just made the movie work. Plus Crudup and Phoenix were perfect in their roles of feuding brothers, and Liv Tyler gave a great performance of the youngest Abbott sister. So without reading up on the movie first, and just simply finding it randomly and recording, it was most enjoyable. Rent this 1997 classic.

Finally saw this. I find it hilarious when non-singers attempt Sondheim. Johnny Depp, as much as I love him, cannot sing. But neither can Helena Bonhem Carter, so it works out. At least the material is conducive to non-singers (as in, you can pretty much talk the entire score). And why does Alan Rickman always play the creepy molester guy? He is so great, I’d love to see him do more comedy.

Anyway, I knew this musical going in (I heard the score way back in junior high from my sister). Also saw her in a staged production down at Mad Cow Theatre in Florida. And I think I liked that one the best…because it just flowed better. The movie seems so disjointed at times, I find that I can pause and come back to scenes and not care…and I like movie musicals to be captivating…not pause-worthy.

But lets talk about what is good. The costumes are phenomenal. I know this was up for an Oscarsway back when, and I can totally see why. The costumes are period yet modern, and I love that. Also, the art direction is insane! And not in the Helena Bonhem Carter insane way…in a very good insane way! No wonder this won the Oscar for art direction. From every angle of dirty fleet street cobblestone to the peeling striped wallpaper in the barbershop, it was perfection.

Personally, I dont know how someone can work with that insane head called Tim Burton, but this movie was visually stunning. Yes, the actors could not sing, and the singers could not act. Depp performance was actually quite stunning, but that doesnt surprise me because he comes from the school of Edward Scissorhands and Pirates of the Caribbean, so this character, not such a stretch. Carter was forgettable, but for some reason, I feel like she was born to play this weird role. Maybe it was the makeup job they did on her, but she plays an insane person very well.

The use of the blood is unnecessary, but it does provide a lovely red color on the “grey matter” that is the art direction…another credit to the art direction…I never knew there were so many shades of gray!

And I can’t believe this musical of all musicals has produced hits like “Green Finch and Linnet Bird”, “Johanna”, and “Not While I’m Around”…watching this movie suddenly made my throat hurt…

This is definitely not a movie to introduce someone into the movie/musical genre, but if, around Halloween, you need something in the background, this will do.

Mediocrity at its best, 27 Dresses is not worth 27 minutes of your time.

Although I am a Katherine Heigl and James Marsden fan (see Grey’s Anatomy and The Notebook, respectively), the luke-warm script and unimpressive performances by lead actors made this movie unenjoyable at first, predictable at second, and downright laughable (at the ridiculousness of it all) by curtain call.

Problems?
A)Too many storylines trying to intersect and end perfectly together like the purple tied bow on the first bridesmaid dress.

B) Too many token characters: See  the “perfect” younger sister, played caricature-like by an unimpressive Cameron Diaz wannabe; the token best friends to the main characters ala Judy Greer (who I adore, just not in this role) and that guy from 30 Rock (who I also adore, just not in this role). And since when does the Edward Burns do blockbuster romantic comedies? He should stick to his indie romantic tramedies like “She’s The One” He should know better…he’s a writer for goodness sake! (must’ve lost a bet). 

C) Too many plot holes that are not filled by Heigl’s cuteness or Marsden’s rendition of “Benny and the Jet”…and definitely not filled by 27 dresses.

The only thing that was slightly impressive: the end credit role that showed the credits as newspaper headlines…yup, that’s about it.

The movie itself was not unlike the 27 dresses…mostly hideous, predictable, and needing to be thrown out in the trash.

The good news is that this movie made me seriously consider re-starting my writing career.  If a terrible script like this can attract these stars, and these big shot studios shell out money for mediocredy, hell, I’ve got about twelve mediocre scripts in my own personal development hell that I can share. Are you listening, 20th Century Fox?