The following are writings from my collection. They are also all copyrighted. So don’t go stealing them. It’s not nice.
Excerpt from “Midlife Crisis of a Teenager” :
Chapter Twenty: Two Weeks
So the Prom Queen got more than she bargained for. Another one comes out of the woodwork. A random invitation of Prom is what landed in this girl’s lap, and she jumped at the opportunity. It was as though fate had once again, smacked her upside the head. But even now, two weeks later, the reminiscent thoughts of yesterday remained with her. Another boy that she had known for years, only now glowing his light upon her. He was like no other, but then again, if he was like everyone else, life would be dull, right? In two weeks she had not only been asked and gone to Prom, but she had found a soul mate in the process. That seemed a little risky to even her, whose past relationships consisted of lame excuses and confused goodbyes. For some undescribable reason, she felt completely safe with him, like his very presence made her feel like nothing in the world could harm her. And that was refreshing to her, after all, she had been through a month of hell. She had been dumped and stomped on, and she wasn’t about to let yet another one of the evil male spices take a hold of her. Yet he was different, he posed no immediate threat. He treated her with such respect that it almost hurt her to make sarcastic comments toward him to defend her crushed ego of old, never once flinching, trying to hide all emotion towards him. After all, she was leaving in two months for a life elsewhere, what was the point of starting something if she couldn’t finish it? These twisted, tangled webs of adolescence wasn’t getting any easier, even if she was getting older. She suddenly had no control over her emotions, he had brought something out of her that she’d never experienced before. He had captured her heart in a mere three weeks, and she was terrified. Not because of him, but because she would once again open herself up to vulnerability, to being hurt yet again. She would risk her feelings to see what could happen with this one. His smile suggested that she stop overanalyzing every good thing that happens to her. She never stopped to smell the roses, she was too busy wondering why roses were in her way. She had known happiness before, in forms of parental praise, friendships, but never this. Never the happiness of another. Never smiling uncontrollably at the thought of them together. Never feeling a chill down the spine after the viewing of photographs that now adorned her mind. Never this feeling of complete relaxation, not having to worry about the future, trying desperately to live in the present. This happiness enveloped her, and the warmth in her heart spread throughout, even with the chill of the rainy evening. Reminiscent thoughts of past crushes faded at the thought of him, her knight in shining armor, rescuing her from the thoughts of past dragons that had left their mark upon her. He vanquished her scars in the gaze of his eyes, and provided her with two weeks of lasting memories. Two weeks was all it took to win this princess’s heart, and that frightened her. The stubborn princess, whose past reputation made her seem like a closed book, shutting off from the world. How easy it was for her to do that, to not express anything, just live in her fantasy world of dreams. She loved escaping reality. But now, she wanted her reality, she wanted to be with him, she wanted to live. And although future disappointments and heartache probably lied ahead, she smiled at the photograph she was gazing at. Two smiles, made by two different people, with two very different lives, who, by fate’s hand, in two weeks had become two inseparable smiles, two people who talked to each other for hours on end, two people who shared a passion for sarcasm and living. Two people, with two smiles, who felt exactly the same thing. Funny how life repays you in the end.
Ultimately time is all you have and the idea isn’t to save it, but to savor it.
You have to dance like no one’s watching, and love like it’s never going to hurt.
Trust your fate, for it knows exactly when to enter your life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Defining Love
The days soon turned into weeks for this girl, who had been through one of the happiest emotional rides of her life. The boy brought such joy into her life, such passion and trust, she was in awe of them. She often thought how she’s been so lucky to have this boy, this one boy that meant more to her now than anything, who, in a short time, had become a soul mate. It seemed to her that the very idea of another guy capturing her heart was absurd, the echoes of her mother telling her that men were all after “one thing” lingered in the background. But her heart had disagreed lately, every time she thought about them together (which was more often in the day then she would like to admit) she smiled, and that feeling, that undescribable feeling of complete and utter love came through her bewildered mind. She had never, in all her days, felt this connection to another person, and the only one who had ever come close was now not only her best friend, but in the arms of another. It seemed to her that this one was here to stay, at least for the time being. He made her feel completely alive, yet he was so fragile with her when she had her “emotional episodes” in the past week. Her life in the past week had changed her, hopefully for the better. Tidings of graduation and inevitable departure enraptured her mind, but it was he who comforted her, who held her, just held her, and told her it was ok to cry, a lesson her mother taught her years ago, but she never listened, until now. His kindness and generosity, how in a few weeks he had captured her heart, how every glance sent a chill up her spine, how, even through random conversations and teenage trials, she could still just hold his hand and be satisfied. This connection seemed so strange, how few days had gone by, and already she felt such emotions for him. How could that be? Was she in, what they like to call, love? Wasn’t that something that teenagers weren’t supposed to understand, that parents implant in their mind as being the evil word? Isn’t that what fathers fear for their daughters, and mother’s cringe at? The fact that their teenagers could love something or someone sooner than they had in their life? Wasn’t love that thing you shared after wedding vows and receptions of life? How could she possibly know what love was, she was far too young, right? The thing was, she didn’t even fully know what the word meant. Perhaps no one did. But she knew one thing. That without him, at least for the moment, life seemed….empty. Without his sideway glances, without his hands that were far too easy to grasp, without his witty comebacks and sly smile, without his sincerity and passion about life, without his deepness and integrity that he carried with him throughout conversations that they had, without all these, life seemed so lonely, and boring. She’d ventured the loneliness route before, all too often the one-sided road lead her astray. But this time, this time the road veered into two sides, and, for once in her life, there was someone traveling with her, beside her. What a relief that was, to have that kind of support from behind, to know that someone was there, not judging, not looking for “something” else, just being there to support her along her trip of life. He had come at the exact time that she wanted to escape this life of adolescence. The closer she got to leaving, the more she realized she had not lived. She had so much to experience, so many rocks left unturned for fear that they would hurt her. But her mother had actually taught her that if she was going to go through life not turning over those rocks, then she was not going to live. For in order to live, we must all be hurt. But at the moment, he posed no idle threat to her. She was completely and hopelessly in love with him. Did she know what love was? No, but instead of rejecting the thoughts of what it should be, she simply redefined it into what it is…to her. For love is the hardest thing to describe, it’s a feeling, an emotion, that lies undefined in the world of explanation. She defined it for herself, not once flinching at what it meant to her. She had longed to tell him how he made her feel, afraid that he would not return the intensity that she felt, but equally as eager to see what was his reality. It was strange, the only way to describe their relationship was to simply say that she loved him, which, in reality, didn’t explain anything. Why does love even need to be explained? Why can’t it just be? Too often in the adolescent world, love is too strong of a word because of its sexual connotation. Why did everyone, including her parents, think that everything in the teenage world revolved around sex? Just because the entertainment industry used it as a promotion, didn’t mean that she was having it. She had morals, so did he, so did everyone she knew. Even the people that had it didn’t think about it all the time. She was sure that numerous people did think about it all the time, but she was way too overemotional, and even too sentimental to even slightly think of the idea. Why was teenage love labeled “puppy love” and restricted from their vocabulary? And how is teenage love any different from the love of so-called adults? No one even knew what the definition was, so how could anyone judge? People spent all their lives trying to define it, only to find their own loneliness. They have it in such a fixed position, such a definition, that when the word baffles them, they are too stubborn to admit that they don’t know what it means. How could people judge if they didn’t know? All she knew was that she did love him, by her terms, and that the future held good things for them, for nothing, no parental banishments, emotional breakdowns, or other outside factors, could erase the memory that she had when he said those three infamous words that were forbidden in the garden of adolescence: I love you. Whether he did, whether they remained a couple forever, whether the tides of life shifted them apart, whatever happened, nothing could ever take that away from her. She had it forever, imprinted in her mind, her first love, her first attempt at anything remotely resembling a relationship, the first time in her life when she felt unexplained happiness at the sound of his name, the touch of his lips, the sweetness of his smile. She wasn’t afraid of the word, love… it was just a word, a way to describe what she was feeling. It really didn’t even matter that she was in love with him. What mattered was that she was with him, and whether that feeling of love would smack her in the face later on down the road of this life, she didn’t flinch. He was too busy holding her hand.
” What is love? ‘Tis not hereafter; Present mirth hath present laughter; What’s to come is till unsure. In delay there lies no plenty, Then come kiss me sweet and twenty; Youth’s a stuff will not endure.” -William Shakespeare
Love is undefinable, you must define it for yourself.
Never be afraid to love, for even with the inevitable downfall that it brings, it leaves you with the memories that make you want to get right back up.
